Taking Responsibility

One of the first principles of recovery that I learned is that I am responsible for me—for my decisions, my behavior, and the consequences (good or bad) of those actions. It is so much easier to point the finger at someone else, and at times it may seem justified, however, I have found that regardless of what someone else has done “to me” I am still responsible for my reaction.

“Do don’t get tired of doing what is good. Don’t get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time. Whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone.” (Galatians 6 (We Reap What we Sow)

Transformation starts with a recognition of our poor behavior and poor choices made as a result. We are not condemned to a life of repeating our reactions—change IS possible. Change is a process. For me, a large part of that process has involved finding God and accepting Jesus as my inspiration, my leader, and my salvation from a life of bad choices.

PiaMelody writes: “If I am honest and accountable, I will keep my word and commitments, accepting responsibility for my behavior without trying to justify it based on another s behavior. It is, of course, appropriate to confront the others behavior and to own our feelings about that behavior. It is very different to say, “When I witnessed this behavior, I had this feeling,” than to say, “Your behavior caused me to feel this or caused me to behave in this manner.” Inappropriate behavior is inappropriate. If my boundary system and self-discipline are so poor that I rage, demean, call names, etc., it is my responsibility to protect you from me. My emotional reaction to you or to a situation does not lessen my responsibility to be appropriate. Blaming and whining are close relatives. It is manipulation if I try to affect the outcome by blaming others or by trying to evoke pity so that I am not held accountable and consequences disappear.”  (Melody, 2004)  

So it gets down to CHOICES! Do I want to take responsibility? Do I want to ask for help? Do I want to do what it takes to be a different person today?And am I willing to protect my heart and my being by stepping away when I need to? Am I willing to walk away when my emotions get the best of me? Am I willing to choose my response?

I know that there will be days when I fall short. I am not perfect, remember? One thing I cannot be though is fearful. If I believe that God has set forth a path for redemption (release, recovery, salvation) and I have stepped onto that path, I have to trust that change will come. I must start by taking responsibility for my spiritual growth, making a commitment to change, and surrounding myself with new understanding are tools I can use to affect a change.And I have to trust that if the changes I am making are part of his will for me, that he will bless me and remove that fear. "Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear, do not be frightened." (1 Peter 3:13-14) I still need to break the chain of poor choices and bad behavior and trust that God is there with me.

I can’t do it alone. It takes relationships, guidance, and prayer. Today I pray that I will make right choices. Lord give me people who will hold me accountable and who will remind me that this is a journey that starts new every day. And I pray that I will remember that it is about grace and forgiveness that comes from a relationship with my Father.

Melody, Pia, (2004) Honesty and Accountability in Relationships, Recovery Becomes Reality, Retrieved from: http://www.piamellody.com/pdf/ML_Winter2004_Pia.pdf