FEAR: the single word that has driven many of the decisions
of my life. Fear of being ignored. Fear of being alone. Fear of being hurt.
Fear of not being loved. Fear of being loved. Simple fear of the unknown and uncontrollable.
I think you get the point!!
Job felt that fear: “What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. I
have no peace, no quietness; have no rest, but only turmoil.” (Job 3:25-26) when the events of his life took over.
That’s how I felt the night I walked into
The Meadows over a year ago. I really had no idea what had brought me there
other than a fear that had finally overtaken my life. I had reached a point
where I could no longer make simple decisions out of the fear that I would be
acting out of God’s will or that even if I was in God’s will, I would somehow
screw it all up.
At The Meadows they give you a little card
to describe your feelings. For many of u we have stuffed our feelings under food,
sex, drugs, alcohol, or work and we barely actually feel anything anymore. I
think fear of feeling probably drives most of our irrational and unhealthy behaviors.
So my little card defines fear as “apprehension,
overwhelmed, and threatened.” Yup, that pretty much described me. Add a bit of
shame (embarrassment) and guilt (regret, contrite, and remorseful) and I can
quickly become stuck in my feelings and unable to function or make wise
choices.
Fear started early for mankind. In Genesis
3:9 Adam tells God he was afraid because he was naked and because he knew what
he had done and that he soon would be discovered. Fear compounding fear. I
think that we often fear that our behavior, no matter how minor, will soon be
discovered. Admitting our situation to another is one of the scariest things to
do, yet in James 5:16 we are told to: “Confess
your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The
earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful
results.” It is in sharing our behaviors and our fears with one
another that we can find some peace and hope. I know who difficult it can be,
what a humbling experience it is to admit my faults, my struggles, and my fears
to others—and to ask them to pray with me through the pain.
And somehow it is that simple step of
honesty that can change everything. In seeking prayer, others can do for me
what I can’t. They can see the light and can encourage me. They can share their
faith and trust in God when I am shaken. Through sharing and praying I begin to
see past the fear and have some hope. More importantly, I am released from the
fear and any compulsive acts from the past. I can replace fear with joy, and
peace.
“We
can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they
help us develop endurance.
4 And endurance develops
strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of
salvation. 5 And
this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us,
because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” Romans 5:3-5
The gift I left The Meadows with was one of
friendship and love found in sharing our pain and our fears. Through these
relationships I renewed my relationship with Jesus and his unconditional love
and care for me. I pray that today you will find a person or group to share
your fears with and that you may find release from fear. May your day be filed
with gratitude and a feeling of grace and connectedness.
Yes fear is a strong emotion programming our fight or flight response to threatening situations. And it can also be paralysing. Islamic Sufis have a saying "Fear is the Key" which is about using fear to drive us into the courage to overcome those fears and to take the next step. IT likely evolved with our ancestors to keep us safe from predators and to help us maintain alertness to potential threats. Fear can also drive us to seek help from others and in that way can cement us into communities. It may also be a component of the desire to nurture, to shield others from fear and so build relationships. The trick is to recognise fear when it strikes and to use it constructively to help us find the courage to act when times get tough.Reach out. If your faith in your god helps you to find that courage then it is a good thing - I think we all need to to reach out in order to find the strength within.
ReplyDeleteI agree Jerry, fear can be a positive and negative motivator. There is the good old fashioned fear-flight response as there is the fear-fight response. Dr. Shelley (see links) writes a good bit about how our brain reacts in various circumstances and how trauma creates new patterns of responses based on experiences as a child. Most of which we are unaware of. I think for me I have often allowed fear to take control of my life and when I am stuck in the emotion it is harder to think through decisions. So finding a way to calm the fear--be it in prayer or reaching out to someone else, often gives me the courage and motivation to do something. So yes, fear is a great driver it is just a matter of how we respond to that fear and how to change our reaction to one that is more positive and productive.
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