Motivated by Love or Hate?

The day after a horrible shooting in Arizona the word “hate” is being thrown around as if it belongs to one special group-one type of person. Does that then mean that “love” is reserved to only certain groups and certain people? I think not.

What does it mean then to be motivated by love and not by hate? Dr. Larry Crabb in Understanding People wrote: “the most significant fact about people is not that they are complicated psychologically or irresponsible morally, but rather that they were made to love and be loved. We were designed for relationship. Consequently we yearn for it. Our deepest parts cry out for intimacy and meaningful involvement with others. (pg. 83) Unfortunately for some, they never feel that love in their lives and they never feel that connectedness to another leading to unsatisfying relationships and “a profound loneliness that strengthens our determination to protect ourselves from the hurt we fear. People are caught up in a vicious cycle of hurt, defense retreat, more hurt, more retreat.” (pg. 83) I wonder if this cycle doesn’t then lead to the murderous acts we witnessed of a man so lost and lonely that he felt someone must pay the price for his hurt and pain?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying he is in any way justified by his actions. But before we start throwing around the “hate” word, maybe we should look at our own lives and measure how we are doing on the love scale. Are we using God’s love to change the heart of another; are we reaching through to a fellow human being to develop a loving relationship? Or are we walking past these people because they aren’t like us or they are simply too wounded to be worthy my time?

Jesus says in Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Henri J. M. Nouwen wrote “At issue here is the question: ‘to whom do I belong? To God or to the world?’…As long as I keep running about asking ‘Do you love me? Do you really love me?’ I give all the power to the voices of the world and put myself in bondage because the world if filled with ‘if’s.’ The words say: ‘Yes, I love you IF you are good-looking, intelligent, and wealthy. I love you IF you have a good education, a good job, and good connections. I love you IF you produce much, sell much, and buy much.’ There are endless ‘if’s’ hidden in the world’s love. These ‘ifs’ enslave me since it is impossible to respond adequately to all of them. The worlds’ love is and always will be conditional. As long as I keep looking for my true self in the world of conditional love, I will remain ‘hooked’ to the world—trying, failing, and trying again.”

I am more than a little tired of the finger pointing that goes on between political factions---each claiming they are more right than the other. Each side seems all too willing to jump on the latest tragedy and use it to flame the fire. Each rising in righteous indignation to prove the kind of hate those others have is destroying this nation, ignoring the hate in their own heart. Maybe, just maybe, if we were each to ask how we can love the other better we might find that there is no room for hate in the country that has so much to offer everyone living here.

My question to you then is how will you love that person you disagree with today? Are YOU willing to take the first step to connect and understand someone thus lightening their burden today? Can you love someone today even if they don’t look, act, or believe like you? I pray that you will find the way to love one person today that you never thought was possible. ONE PERSON –is that too much to do to transform our nation?

Crabb, Larry (1987), Understanding people, Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan

Nouwen, Henri J. M. (2004) Advent and Christmas wisdom from Henri J.M. Nowen: Daily Scripture and prayers together with Nouwen’s own words., Liguori Publications, Liguori, Missouri

New Year = New Commitments to Transformation

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2 NIV

It has been quite a while since I wrote anything for this blog and I guess the start of a new year is as good a time as ever to start over with the blog. When I first started writing I did it for a group of young women who were studying Romans 12:2, one of my favorite verses , and trying to grasp what that meant for their future. Most of those women have gone on to college and I find this is still one the most important verses for me, especially with the start of a new year and all the talk about resolutions for 2011. This new entry is dedicated to those young women and my friends who are walking this walk.

Marie Chapian in the Women’s Devotional Bible says: “It is a challenge to live our lives as sacrifices to God. When we do, we aren’t the masters of our bodies and minds—God is.” How simple that sounds and yet it is a daily struggle for me to let God be that master of my body and mind. We are bombarded by things of this world that tell us we can live however we want as long as we are happy. And yet in the simplest of terms Jesus said: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so must you love another. “ John 13:34. It ALL starts with his love that compels us to love others in the same way.

So then what of love and its role in the way we as Christians live our lives—lives that the New Living Version of the same verse says “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.” If we skip ahead to verses 9-10 Paul tell us “Don’t just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. “

This love springs from God’s love of us and we are thus compelled to love others in the way that he loves us. Not a simple task for mere humans; at least not this human. I can quickly become selfish and intolerant if someone doesn’t respond the way I think they should. I can become demanding of things I think I deserve. I can be cold-hearted if people and things don’t fit in my schedule. I whine if I don’t have the attention I think I should. I guess I pretend more than I would like to admit.

Notice a trend here? All about me! A worldly 21^st Century attitude that I pray I can change in the coming year. William P. Young in “The Shack” speaking as God said: “ Paradigms power perception and perceptions power emotions. Most emotions are responses to perception—what you think is true about a given situation. If your perception is false, then your emotional response to it will be false too. So check your perceptions, and beyond that check the truthfulness of your paradigms—what you believe. Just because you believe something firmly doesn’t make it true. Be willing to reexamine what you believe. The more you live in the truth, the more your emotions will help you see clearly. But even then, you don’t want to trust them more than me. “

In the year ahead I pray that we all find ourselves living God’s love in all that we do and that we constantly seek HIS truth in all situations, casting aside our selfish desires for his. Today I take another step on my spiritual journey and I invite you to share yours with me that together we may grow strong in our walk and gain more of God’s wisdom with each new step.